Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change—always striving to improve things but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience.
Core Fear
Being defective, corrupt, evil, or wrong
Core Desire
To be good, ethical, balanced, and have integrity
Motivation
To be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with ideals, to justify themselves
Strengths
- Reliable and consistent
- Strong moral compass
- Dedicated to improvement
- Honest and direct
- Committed to doing what's right
Challenges
- Can be overly critical of partners
- Difficulty relaxing and being spontaneous
- Repressed anger emerges as resentment
- High standards can feel suffocating
- May prioritize being right over connection
↓ Under Stress → Type 4
The One's rigid self-control collapses, giving way to emotional turbulence. Focus shifts from objective 'what is right' to subjective 'how I feel.' Adopts martyr complex, believing no one else cares about standards.
Warning Signs
- • Shift from 'I need to fix this' to 'It's no use, nobody cares'
- • Intense melancholy and withdrawal
- • Feeling uniquely burdened and isolating
- • Self-pity and hopelessness about the relationship
↑ In Growth → Type 7
The One silences the Inner Critic. Realizes the world will not end if they relax. Accesses joy, spontaneity, and curiosity. Moves from judgment to acceptance.
What Partners Can Do
- • When One shows spontaneity, say 'Yes' immediately
- • Reinforce that play is safe
- • Help schedule unstructured time for enjoyment
- • Celebrate flexibility and fun
Primary
anxious preoccupied
Secondary
fearful avoidant
Hyper-vigilant to errors in self and partner, fearing imperfection leads to abandonment. When partner fails standards, may withdraw into critical, detached stance.
Healthy 1s approach Secure through principled reliability. Unhealthy 1s oscillate between anxious striving and avoidant withdrawal.
Object Relations
Frustration Triad
Hornevian
Compliant (Moving Toward)
Harmonic
Competency Group
Think you might be a Type 1?