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Secure

The Anchor

Low AnxietyLow Avoidance
Overview

Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Can depend on others and allow others to depend on them. Trusts that relationships are generally safe and rewarding.

Core Patterns

Core Belief

I am worthy of love. Others are generally trustworthy and available. Relationships are safe.

Core Strategy

Balanced approach—seeks closeness when needed while maintaining healthy independence. Communicates needs directly.

Origin

Caregivers were consistently responsive, attuned, and available. Learned that needs will be met and relationships are safe.

In Relationships

Strengths

  • Comfortable with both closeness and independence
  • Communicates needs directly and clearly
  • Regulates emotions effectively
  • Trusts partner and the relationship
  • Recovers quickly from conflicts

Challenges

  • May not fully understand insecure partners
  • Can become frustrated with avoidance or anxiety in others
  • May take healthy relating for granted
Needs From Partner
  • Mutual respect and honesty
  • Consistent availability without clinginess
  • Space for individual growth
  • Direct communication
Offers Partner
  • Steady, reliable presence
  • Emotional availability without drama
  • Trust and autonomy
  • Constructive conflict resolution
Behavioral Patterns

Conflict Behavior

Addresses issues directly and calmly. Seeks understanding and resolution. Can stay present during difficult conversations.

Intimacy Response

Welcomes closeness naturally. Comfortable being vulnerable and receiving vulnerability from others.

Path to Growth

Already secure but can deepen by understanding insecure patterns and developing compassion for partners with different styles.

Related Enneagram Types

Types most likely to exhibit this attachment style:

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