Cross-Framework Insights

Where Enneagram, Attachment, and Love Languages meet

Understanding yourself through one framework is powerful. Understanding how all three interact gives you the complete picture of your relationship patterns.

The Three Lenses

Enneagram

Reveals your core motivations—the underlying fears and desires that drive your behavior in relationships. The "why" behind your patterns.

Attachment Theory

Describes your connection blueprint—how you seek closeness, handle distance, and regulate emotions in intimate relationships.

Love Languages

Shows your communication style—how you naturally express love and what makes you feel most loved in return.

How They Connect

Your Enneagram type shapes which attachment style you're likely to develop and which love languages resonate most with you:

  • Heart types (2, 3, 4) often have attachment patterns tied to their self-worth and tend toward emotionally expressive love languages
  • Head types (5, 6, 7) may develop avoidant or anxious patterns based on their relationship with security and control
  • Body types (8, 9, 1) often express love through action and presence, with attachment patterns tied to autonomy and boundaries

Type-by-Type Insights

1
Type 1: The Reformer

The Perfectionist

Likely Attachment

Dismissive-Avoidant

Ones often develop avoidant patterns due to early criticism. They learned to sel...

Primary Love Languages

Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation

Growth Path

Learning to accept imperfection, developing emotional flexibility, and believing they are lovable as...

Relationship Pattern: May become critical under stress, struggle to relax into imperfection, and have difficulty receiving without giving.
2
Type 2: The Helper

The Giver

Likely Attachment

Anxious-Preoccupied

Twos often develop anxious attachment from learning that love must be earned thr...

Primary Love Languages

Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

Growth Path

Recognizing their own needs as valid, learning to receive without giving, and discovering they are l...

Relationship Pattern: May over-give and become resentful, struggle with acknowledging their own needs, and seek reassurance through helping.
3
Type 3: The Achiever

The Performer

Likely Attachment

Dismissive-Avoidant

Threes often learn to suppress emotions in favor of achievement. They may strugg...

Primary Love Languages

Words of Affirmation, Quality Time

Growth Path

Slowing down to feel, risking vulnerability without performing, and discovering love doesn't depend ...

Relationship Pattern: May prioritize image over intimacy, struggle with emotional availability, and feel unseen despite success.
4
Type 4: The Individualist

The Romantic

Likely Attachment

Anxious-Preoccupied

Fours often experienced emotional inconsistency. They may feel fundamentally fla...

Primary Love Languages

Quality Time, Words of Affirmation

Growth Path

Finding beauty in the ordinary, trusting that love doesn't require drama, and believing in their inh...

Relationship Pattern: May push-pull, idealize then devalue, and create intensity to feel alive. Struggle with ordinariness.
5
Type 5: The Investigator

The Observer

Likely Attachment

Dismissive-Avoidant

Fives learned early that emotional needs overwhelm resources. They protect thems...

Primary Love Languages

Quality Time, Acts of Service

Growth Path

Discovering that connection replenishes rather than depletes, sharing emotional needs, and trusting ...

Relationship Pattern: May withdraw when overwhelmed, struggle with emotional expression, and maintain rigid boundaries around time and energy.
6
Type 6: The Loyalist

The Skeptic

Likely Attachment

Anxious-Preoccupied

Sixes experienced inconsistent safety and may constantly scan for threats in rel...

Primary Love Languages

Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service

Growth Path

Learning to trust themselves and their partner, finding security within, and tolerating uncertainty ...

Relationship Pattern: May project fears onto partner, test loyalty, and oscillate between trust and suspicion. Seek security through certainty.
7
Type 7: The Enthusiast

The Epicure

Likely Attachment

Dismissive-Avoidant

Sevens learned to escape pain through stimulation. They may flee depth and commi...

Primary Love Languages

Quality Time, Physical Touch

Growth Path

Learning to stay present with discomfort, deepening rather than diversifying, and finding joy in com...

Relationship Pattern: May avoid difficult conversations, keep options open, and struggle with being present in painful moments.
8
Type 8: The Challenger

The Protector

Likely Attachment

Dismissive-Avoidant

Eights learned early that vulnerability gets exploited. They protect their soft ...

Primary Love Languages

Physical Touch, Acts of Service

Growth Path

Learning that vulnerability is strength, allowing themselves to need, and trusting that softness won...

Relationship Pattern: May dominate rather than connect, test partner's strength, and struggle to show vulnerability without losing face.
9
Type 9: The Peacemaker

The Mediator

Likely Attachment

Secure

Nines often present as secure due to their accommodating nature, though they may...

Primary Love Languages

Quality Time, Physical Touch

Growth Path

Learning to assert their own presence, staying awake in the relationship, and believing their voice ...

Relationship Pattern: May merge with partner's preferences, avoid stating needs, and maintain peace at the cost of authenticity.

Discover Your Complete Profile

Take all three assessments to understand your full relationship blueprint.