Values independence highly. Uncomfortable with too much closeness. May dismiss the importance of relationships while appearing self-sufficient.
Core Belief
I don't really need others. Depending on people leads to disappointment. I am complete on my own.
Core Strategy
Deactivation—minimizes attachment needs and pulls away when things get too close. Maintains emotional self-sufficiency.
Origin
Caregivers were emotionally unavailable or rejecting of needs. Learned to suppress needs and become hyper-independent.
Strengths
- Calm and stable presence
- Does not create drama or neediness
- Respects partner's autonomy
- Self-sufficient and capable
- Provides space for partner's independence
Challenges
- Difficulty expressing or even recognizing emotional needs
- May withdraw when partner needs connection
- Can seem cold or emotionally unavailable
- Dismisses importance of closeness
- May prioritize work or hobbies over relationship
- •Respect for their need for space
- •Low-pressure approach to closeness
- •Independence and self-sufficiency in partner
- •Patience with their emotional process
- •Stability and low drama
- •Space and autonomy
- •Practical support and reliability
- •Calm during crisis
Conflict Behavior
Withdraws or shuts down. May dismiss partner's concerns as irrational. Prefers to handle things alone.
Intimacy Response
Uncomfortable with too much closeness. May feel suffocated and pull away.
Recognize that needs are valid. Practice tolerating closeness without fleeing. Learn to identify and express emotions.
Types most likely to exhibit this attachment style:
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