Your Type
Their Type
How This Tool Works
Select Types
Enter your Enneagram type and the type of the person you're in conflict with.
Get Openers
Receive opening statements that set the right tone based on your type's communication style.
Learn Triggers
Understand what to avoid saying based on their type's core fears and triggers.
Repair
Get validation and repair statements that help rebuild connection.
Why the Enneagram Works for Conflict Resolution
Most conflicts escalate because we approach them from our own perspective, not our partner's. The Enneagram reveals what each type needs to feel safe, heard, and valued during conflict:
- Body Types (8, 9, 1): Need respect for their autonomy and physical space
- Heart Types (2, 3, 4): Need emotional validation and connection before problem-solving
- Head Types (5, 6, 7): Need time to process and logical explanations
When you speak to someone's core needs, conflict becomes a path to deeper understanding rather than disconnection.
Frequently Asked Questions
How does the Enneagram help with conflict resolution?
The Enneagram reveals each type's core fears, triggers, and communication needs. When you understand your partner's type, you can approach conflict in ways that de-escalate rather than inflame. For example, Type 2s need to feel appreciated during conflict, while Type 5s need space to process before responding.
What if I don't know my partner's Enneagram type?
You can take our free assessment together, or start by observing what triggers them most and what makes them feel heard. The general principles—leading with validation, avoiding accusations, and focusing on feelings over facts—work across all types.
Why do some Enneagram types clash more than others?
Types clash when their core fears collide. Type 8 (fear of being controlled) may clash with Type 1 (fear of being wrong) because both want to be right. Type 4 (fear of being ordinary) may clash with Type 3 (fear of being worthless) around authenticity vs. achievement. Understanding these dynamics helps you navigate conflict with compassion.
Can these scripts work for workplace conflicts?
Yes! The same principles apply to professional relationships. The key is understanding what each type needs to feel respected and heard. Adjust the language to be more formal, but the underlying approach of validation before problem-solving remains effective.